As Mother’s Day approaches I find myself, as a new mother, reflecting on work and motherhood. When I was pregnant, people frequently advised me on how difficult pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood would be. Occasionally people would end their ominous warnings of sleepless years, loss of personal identity, tantrums, and other trials with a penitent “But it’s all worth it in the end.” I was happily surprised, then, to discover how joyful the transition into parenthood was. I have never been happier or more grateful in my life. Some have said that my disposition is the product of mere luck- luck that my husband and I are blessed to have such an ‘easy’ baby. While there may be some truth to that, our faith and attitude play a role as well.
I read various books on parenting, both old and new, and noticed an interesting shift in attitude. Many of the older books described activities involved in mothering in positive, fun terms. The books have games, songs, and delightful ways to involve children in daily activities. Activities like cooking, cleaning, and teaching children were described with affection. Meanwhile, modern parenting books are concerned with time management, discipline, and how to endure the never ending toil. Many of these books contain persuasive arguments for activities that were once considered de rigueur. Love is present, but almost as an afterthought; a reward you might reap when all the labor is finished. People insist that being a mother is “work.” This is understandable, as there is the continual danger of undervaluing raising a child. Consequently, there is a push to compare parenting to employment. I have seen calculations of the monetary value of a “stay at home” mother. Modern society encourages women to live for themselves, and not for others. Mothers are constantly told to indulge themselves and not to give up their identity as women. However, being a mother does fundamentally change who you are- and, in my opinion, hopefully for the better. As Christian mothers, we are called to care for our children’s minds, bodies, and souls. The problem with defining parenting as “work” is that there is such a negative emphasis now. I was constantly told that being a parent would be the hardest thing I would ever do, but I haven’t found that to be true. It is the most important and valuable thing I have ever done, but I am amazed by how much I enjoy raising my daughter- and that includes the diapers, laundry, teething, and tears that go along with it. I wonder why no one ever spoke to me about the intense joy that a mother can experience every day.
When it comes down to it, parenting cannot be compared with employment. People who compare the two seek to define the worth of something that exceeds measurable value. Motherhood can be a joy and a duty of the utmost importance. We should not have to compare it to employment to understand its value. When a child is baptized, the priest says: “God the Father, through his Son, the Virgin Mary’s child, has brought joy to all Christian mothers, as they see the hope of eternal life shine on their children. May he bless the mother of this child. She now thanks God for the gift of her child. May she be one with him in thanking him forever in heaven, in Christ Jesus our Lord.” I pray that this blessing will ring true for all mothers.
I read various books on parenting, both old and new, and noticed an interesting shift in attitude. Many of the older books described activities involved in mothering in positive, fun terms. The books have games, songs, and delightful ways to involve children in daily activities. Activities like cooking, cleaning, and teaching children were described with affection. Meanwhile, modern parenting books are concerned with time management, discipline, and how to endure the never ending toil. Many of these books contain persuasive arguments for activities that were once considered de rigueur. Love is present, but almost as an afterthought; a reward you might reap when all the labor is finished. People insist that being a mother is “work.” This is understandable, as there is the continual danger of undervaluing raising a child. Consequently, there is a push to compare parenting to employment. I have seen calculations of the monetary value of a “stay at home” mother. Modern society encourages women to live for themselves, and not for others. Mothers are constantly told to indulge themselves and not to give up their identity as women. However, being a mother does fundamentally change who you are- and, in my opinion, hopefully for the better. As Christian mothers, we are called to care for our children’s minds, bodies, and souls. The problem with defining parenting as “work” is that there is such a negative emphasis now. I was constantly told that being a parent would be the hardest thing I would ever do, but I haven’t found that to be true. It is the most important and valuable thing I have ever done, but I am amazed by how much I enjoy raising my daughter- and that includes the diapers, laundry, teething, and tears that go along with it. I wonder why no one ever spoke to me about the intense joy that a mother can experience every day.
When it comes down to it, parenting cannot be compared with employment. People who compare the two seek to define the worth of something that exceeds measurable value. Motherhood can be a joy and a duty of the utmost importance. We should not have to compare it to employment to understand its value. When a child is baptized, the priest says: “God the Father, through his Son, the Virgin Mary’s child, has brought joy to all Christian mothers, as they see the hope of eternal life shine on their children. May he bless the mother of this child. She now thanks God for the gift of her child. May she be one with him in thanking him forever in heaven, in Christ Jesus our Lord.” I pray that this blessing will ring true for all mothers.
By Shannon Fossett
Shannon is a Canonist for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland
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